Chapter 10: Trials

Well finally I found some time to get away and connect to the internet! But goodness where do I start?

We made it back to Huron to get everything packed up and ready to head out to the Hills. For good. As I expected, it took a lot more time and was much more stressful than it really could have been. Mom really needed to look through every box before it was packed up to make sure that she wouldn't need anything in the next three months from it while it sat in storage. While I can kind of see her point, it sure was frustrating to have to just sit around and wait forever to get boxes loaded in the trailer. There was definitely yelling, crying, and slamming of doors going on
those nights. (never happens in your home, right?) Mom and dad were up until 2am packing before they realized they had to go rent a hotel in Huron because of "piss poor planning" as dad would say. To top it off, the humidity outside made it feel like soup every time you put your foot out the door. No kidding. I don't think I remember such a humid triple digit South Dakota day.

I guess if it taught me anything, I learned that I really REALLY don't want to accumulate a bunch of junk. You know, souveniers from here, trinkets from there, gifts that you'll never use but feel bad giving away, frozen beans from 2 years ago that were on sale for 33 cents each, 10,000 plastic grocery bags and yogurt cups, computers that no longer work but could at some point....the list goes on.

When we finally got everything packed up, I couldn't believe how ridiculous we looked with our three vehicle, two trailer caravan! Especially dad's flatbed trailer. I'll let you see for yourself:




It was still triple digits, and the guys didn't have a/c in the trucks the whole 6 hour ride out to Hot Springs. Sucks. We were about two hours from our destination when I saw what looked like a tire blowing up on the horse trailer that Steffen was pulling in front of me. (Well, I guess I've never seen one blow up, but maybe it was just some automatic-mother nature-instinct kind of a reaction). Steffen pulled over and sure enough. Blown to pieces. Smitherines as mom would say. Dad successfully changed the tire, but we had to leave it at a gas station in Wall, SD, because it was a Sunday and no tire stores were open. That was one of the first times in my life that I was afraid for dad's health. I mean, he's pretty healthy, but I guess I should say I was afraid for his age. He was drippin sweat like crazy on the side of the road while he was changing that tire in the severe heat. I'm sure dad still has a lot of life left, but I guess it's just hitting me that pa's prime years are behind him.





The heat in Western SD is just so much less humid than in Eastern, which is really nice, but let me tell you, a 85 degree day yesterday never felt so cool, coming off of the 113 hotness that we had over and over again. Because of this, the guys have been working split-shift days to try and beat the heat. I often worried about them while at the same time feeling guilty that I was sitting in an air conditioned RV with mom. Praise the Lord nothing serious happened!



On Monday Steffen and I got the day off and went to visit the cool town of Custer, SD. Steffen immediately found a gem in the first thrift store we went in. He found a four track recording tape machine and bargained the lady down to just 10 bucks! Of course, this is the thrift store find of the century for him, as he's always hoping for a toy like this to show up. We got home and he found out that it works and is selling on ebay for $200! What a steal!

If there's one thing that I'm not used to over at the land, it's looking for Rattlers. Ugh, they just give me the chills! And of course, the guys have spotted about 3 of them so far. Check it:





I guess I'll end with saying that I still am reminded every day how awesome of an opportunity this is for Steffen and I. I mean, living in a tent combined with living with family at a KOA seems like it would be stressful. And it is, but I'm trying my hardest to look past that. I want so badly to soak up this time I have with my fam (especially mom) and create some lasting memories. Despite how much Reed annoys me, how many times mom always asks me to do piddly stuff, or how much dad teases me, I still love them all so much with all of my heart, and consider myself blessed to call them my family.

Chapter 9: Jerald

Yesterday we found out that Mom has to move out of the house in 4 days! 4 days! They were renting the house, and I guess that the owner found someone who will rent it out for twice as much as mom and dad were paying. Dumb.

That interrupts the agenda quite a bit, but mom and dad are trying to make the best of it. That DOES mean that there is no more traveling back and forth for me! We'll all be living out here at the KOA: Mom, dad and Reed in the camper, with Steffen and I sleeping in the tent. Oh boy. I am really looking forward to living out here and having a vehicle. I think that will bring the stress down quite a few notches.







Here is a pictorial update of the place, of which I took yesterday:

Pa










Here you can see the corners of the house!






Sometimes things don't go as planned on the site:


Wildflowers


Steffen and I got a day together last Saturday, which was very much so needed. Actually, it's still really weird for me to say 'we got a day together'- because now I know we shouldn't take quality time for granted. It's just hard to get away from the camper because our van isn't out here.

Anywho, we were dropped off in Hot Springs by my brother on his way out to the job site. First stop: coffee. Finally found some decent drinks! I will have to say though, the lady at the hut was astonished at our order of 3 shots of espresso over ice, and once again, we both felt snobby. Second stop: Natural Foods Store! (Don't worry, you can keep reading on, as I promise I won't take you through each stop.) As we browsed, Steffen said that if we lived here that I would be a great worker for them...and I agree that I'd love to! As we moseyed through the next stores, we dreamed of owning a natural foods store in Lafayette, with a coffee shop inside and (of course) a recording studio in the basement.

We quickly realized that Hot Springs stores are filled with either tourist-y souveniers or odd assortments of thrift stores. One such, "Retro Thrift Store" was about the most jank place either of us had ever been in. There was hardly room to walk, the back of the room smelled highly of pot, a man and a lady stumbled out of the back as the lady was putting her dress on, and on our way out the owner of the store told us, "Thanks for stoppin in. I'm open every day until 6pm, most of the time." The rest of the afternoon we laughed and made up catch lines the owner of that store might have said.

And lastly, the climax of the day:

Reed or dad couldn't give us a ride home because they were still working. The taxi cab wanted $12 to take us back to our campsite. Naturally, we just decided to walk back to the RV- 6 miles. We started off and told ourselves it would be easy: like walking around Lake Calhoun twice. No big deal. I answered to Steffen a firm "no" when he asked me if he could put his thumb out in hopes of cars stopping for us, to which he said, "ok, but if someone stops for us, we're taking the ride home." With each car that came up behind us, I secretly hoped that an older couple in an RV would take pity on us and pull over to give us a ride. To our great suprise, someone pulled over for us within one mile! A nice Native American man offered us a ride back to the KOA! So we hopped in the back, my heart a-thumpin, and I quickly located my cell phone. (You know, I just had to 'feel' safer, for I was a bit nervous). The a/c felt wonderful and we were off to the campground. We found out that his name was Jerald and he was from Pine Ridge Indian Reservation here in SD, working as an electrician. When we reached the KOA and got out of the car, I was so relieved! Relived that we didn't have to walk home. Relieved that we made it safe. And really, I wish someone had gotten a picture of our faces as we got into the RV; we were grinning from ear to ear, realizing how awesome it was that we just experienced our first hitchhiked ride!

4 more miles!

Jerald himself:

That experience was on my mind for a while. Realizing that my mom would freak out when I told her, it just made me open up my eyes a bit more. I know that every hitchhiker doesn't always have a good experience, but oh! How I wish society would slow down. Slow down and take time to give rides. Knock on the neighbor's door to borrow a cup of sugar. Take a homeless person to lunch. Stop and smell the fresh mountain air. Bring a thermos of coffee with some friends and enjoy a sunrise. Hop on a horse's back and gallop down the gravel road. Bring a guitar to a campfire and have some friends over. I am more than aware that it's easy for me to say and do those things because I don't have a job, a house, or any real commitments. But even so, I hope with all my heart that when we move to Lafayette this summer, that I don't get into the daily grind of society so much that I miss opportunities in life that Jerald still has time for.

Chapter 8: Relationships

I think this post is really for my own benefit (to look back on and remember)…but I guess it means something to me, and naturally I’d like to share it with you. I’m sitting in the RV, currently sheltered from the gentle summer rain, and have decided that it’s a good time to hash some thoughts out.

I’ve been reading this book, A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken this summer, and it’s really made me ponder. It’s an autobiography that, so far, has touched a lot on his relationship with his late wife, Davey. The second chapter was hard to follow, but even after I finished, it held me from going on to the third for a week. I just couldn’t stop thinking about their approach to bettering their relationship. Most of the time as I read on I was just amazed at how much of an effort these two put towards unity in their marriage. Some of their methods seem like they are a bit extreme, but maybe that’s just because it isn’t the norm for me. Or the norm for this society. rOverall, I think it’s good food for thought for relationships- married or not.

Here’s some of their approaches, and well, I’m not really sure how to go about sharing them with you other than in list format. All of the italicized below are excerpts from the book*:

“We considered what we supposed to be the standard problems of marriage: and solved a lot.”

• In-laws: the only possible thing was a completely united front, politely and firmly rejecting any sort of interference
• Going home to mother: for us this must be unthinkable; it would be a confession of failure and therefore, the end. Firm agreement. (Hit home with me. Often during the first year of marriage I wanted to call mom up and cry to her. I had to learn to allow my husband to console me.)
• Money: must belong equally to both of us, wherever it came from.
• Decision-making: decide everything of importance by discussion, discussion until agreement is reached. No laying down the law by anybody, ever.
• Children: Too many people everywhere. No children.
• Jealousy: that’s the worst wrecker of all. We agreed that the only sort of marriage we should even be interested in would be one of such love that unfaithfulness would be impossible.
• Trust: need total trust. If that trust were ever violated, then a quick end; for trust could never be restored.
• Possessions: divisive. Over-valued possessions, we decided, were a burden, possessing their owners. We purchased editions, not originals. Cheap binding instead of brand new. We hit our glossy new car with a hammer to make it comfortably dented.
• Sharing: the secret of enduring love. We both love strawberries and ships and collies and poems and all beauty, and all those things bind us together. But now, we must share everything. If one of us likes anything, there must be something to like in it- and the other must find it. Every single thing that either of us likes. That way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together. (I found this approach very…unique. I hope to implement it in my marriage.)
• The Shining Barrier: the shield of our love. A walled garden. A fence around a young tree to keep the deer from nibbling it. Protecting the green tree of our love. But why does love need to be guarded? We looked about and saw the world as having become a hostile and threatening place… A world where love did not endure. The divorce rate was in the news. It must be that, whatever promise, love does not by itself endure. (That last sentence…never thought of it that way, but oh so true! Love is a work in progress, needing to come from both parties.)
• Creeping Separateness: the killer of love. Taking love for granted, especially after marriage. Ceasing to do things together. Finding separate interests. We turning into I. Self. Self-regard: what I want to do.
• Rejecting separate activities: it led to creeping separateness. We would not even allow a career, unless we pursued it together, to become dominating.
• Sharing: We decided each of us must read every book the other had read, in the name of sharing. If one couldn’t go to a play, neither did. Sharing was union. As I read her books and knew her music, she was in me and I in her; and so for her: the co-inherence of lovers.
• Gender points of view: girls brought up to think like women, boys like men. We therefore commenced an immense effort to see and understand the very different points of view. Our closeness was deepened, incredibly deepened, by our doing so.
• Principle of spontaneity: if one of us had an impulse to stop and listen to a bird, to go for a walk in the night, to cut classes, to do anything- we both followed it always.
• Principle of the affirmative: if one of us arrived at a belief, we both accepted it unless it could be disproved.
• Principle of courtesy: whatever one asked the other to do-it was assumed the asker would weigh all consequences-the other would do. We considered it a very great courtesy to ask for the cup of water in the night as well as to fetch it.
• Talking: We were both willing and egar to talk about anything.
• Altering ourselves: we believed that we could do this if we once saw good reason to do so: our minds were in control. The statement, so common these days of mass psychologising, ‘This is the way I am and you’ll just have to accept it’, would have been quite impossible for either of us. (This is something that I think is often taught or surfaced, but I think it takes a lot of guts to put into action. Looking back, and well, even now, I see areas in my life that are ‘right.’ You know, the way I fold laundry. The way I cook and clean. The way I drive. The way I spend/save my money. The way I react to stress. My music. Having Steffen in my life has definitely helped me realize that even thought that’s how I was taught to do something, it’s not necessarily the right way to do it, or the only way. I hope to continue to alter myself for the benefit of our marriage.)
• Separation: a danger. We decided was that when apart, we would slightly idealize each other, and to that extent lose the real person.
• Navigator’s Council: a truth session. Were we fully sharing/ was there any sign of creeping separateness?
• Appeal to Love; what will be best for our love? Which would be the better for our love?
• Never betray a friend: we held our friends and our families very dear and were intensely loyal to them.
• Love: Those who see love as only sex or mainly sex do not, quite simply, know what love is. Sex is merely part of a greater thing. To be in love, as to see beauty, is a kind of adoring that turns the lover away from self.

Whew. Intense, huh? As I said, I don’t necessarily agree with all of their approaches, but I’m still really amazed at how much of an effort they put towards bettering their marriage. Anything stick out to you?

*Vanauken, Sheldon. A Severe Mercy. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1980. Print.

Chapter 7

Today I woke up and I really couldn't remember what day of the week it was. Yes, I'm informed now, but I laughed at myself, thinking how ridiculous that thought was. It's been a good 15 years since I had to ask someone else what day of the week it was.

Last week I spent 7 days in Huron with mom. I had a pretty great time! As I've mentioned before, the house my parents are renting is HUGE (pictured below) and I love it. One night mom and I got some juicing done. It was her first time that she was able to use the juicer that I got her from Minneapolis. She was proud! I spent some time with my forever friend, Rebekah Hofer. We met up a few times- watching Food Inc, catching up on life, taking walks with Buddy, and going out for coffee. I had my first sleepover with her since we were probably seniors in high school! What fun.

Beautiful 3- story house!

A Huron treasure I've seen all to often already...

Apple, carrot and orange! Yum!

15 years old, and still as beautiful as ever. (Well, sassy as ever too)

Steffen tells me that the work is getting easier for him, which is great! That first week was pretty darn rough on his body. Reed and him mostly spent time putting up barbed wire fencing, picking rock, and helping dad put together some wooden fence thing (ha, I can't remember what the technical term is called). He has been losing a lot of weight and putting on some muscle as well. A sight for sore eyes! Of course, we still miss each other like crazy when we are apart, but as we are now on the back side of helping dad, we both know the time will fly by.


Two weeks ago Steffen and I got to spend a day out adventuring around the Black Hills area for a day. We jumped in Reed's jeep (which he so graciously let us borrow) and took off early in the morning. I won't spend much time explaining because the pictures tell such a better story!



Wild Burrows! Steffen thought this one looked like Eeyore, so he tried to look like Eeyore too.




Pronghorn, commonly mistaken by Antelope according to the park. Dad says 'that's bull.'


I think this is a young buck, based on his rack... but he was so unafraid of us!




This big guy was the closest we got to the buffalo


Rushmore:






Stopped in Hill City, which was super tourist-y, but fun to get up and walk around. Steffen got a hair cut.



We took needles highway on the way home, which was a whole lot of fun!








Reed's 18th birthday was on June 25th. We all headed to the local bowling ally for some cosmic bowling. I guess it was dad's first time bowling since he was in high school, and mom's first time for decades. Needless to say, we had a great time, and had the entire place to ourselves.

Speed skating?


Reed and Sandra


Steffen's birthday gift for Reed:






Fast forward to this week.

Mom, Luke, Buddy and I woke up at 3:50 am and headed out to the hills. Luke met us in Woonsocket to pick up one of dad's trailers full of his tools. Man, I haven't seen a full sunrise for a long, long time. Stunning. It just so happened to be that the horses are also at the same farm that the trailer was being stored at. As soon as we pulled in, I let Buddy out and we ran over to greet the four beauties. Man! They are looking great! They have 80 acres to roam on, which is considerably more than what they've had in the past, so I think they've really been enjoying that. It was so wonderful to see them, but I have to wonder- does Ginger remember me? After all those years of training and riding, I sure hope she does. I can't wait for the day when Rebekah and I get on their backs and take a long ride down gravel roads.




The ride over with Luke was great and went fairly fast. It was refreshing to catch up with him, and to learn of his recent desire to pack up and do some traveling. He has such an adventurous spirit, which I feel is a part of our blood for all us Beldin kids.

We took him out to the land once we arrived in Hot Springs. Dad had that sparkle in his eye when he was giving Luke the 'tour'. It amazes me how similar Dad, Reed, and Luke are in their demeanor.

Reed brought his gun


One of my favs...


Another favorite:

We went out to see the stars at the property one night.... so beautiful!

Luke, Steffen, and I spent July 3rd at a nearby beach that wrapped around Lake Angostura. It was a great day to be lakeside, seeing as it was in the 90's..... but of course, we weren't the first ones to have the idea. In fact, there was hundreds of people at this beach! It was so crazy! I told Luke that I felt like I was in a movie...overly-tan girls with their boobs hardly hanging in their bikinis, every guy with at least one tattoo on his shoulder and a beer in hand, boats and jet skis lining the shore, sand volleyball for endless hours, and of course, country music blaring. The beer shack people even told Luke that at least one person a year dies on the 4th of July at Lake Angostura! (Can't imagine why, huh?) Note to self: not a kid-friendly beach. But, needless to say, we had a whole lot of fun.

I have been able to have a whole lot of fun out here...normally soaking up the rays for a part of the day, with book in hand. Also, it has been fun to see how different RV life is compared to the norm. For instance, drying clothes. ha.








Speaking of RV life, I'll leave you with this last picture, which represents the calm before the storm. By storm, I mean finding out the RV sewage was backing up into the room. True story.