Ugh, goodbyes are so wierd. When I am embracing someone and telling them my final words, I normally don't feel super emotional. Normally it starts to hit me after they are no longer present. When I'm at a thrift store and see something that reminds me of them. When I drive by a coffee house and wish that I could catch up with them. Realizing Settlers of Catan can't be played with 1 person. You know, things like these.
The hardest of all these came this morning when I blubbered goodbye to my love. I knew this moment would be coming- but until now I would quickly shove away any thought of the seperation. Oh, how I wish I could go with him! How I wish I didn't have to think of what 2 months apart will feel like. I really do believe that time apart will better our relationships- with God and eachother, and I know that won't happen if I just clutch his pillow in bed all day.
I am excited for Steffen to start this new adventure in life. I could see the anticipation in his eyes last night as Dad talked to him about the layout of labor that will be happening this summer. I am excited for Steffen to just have some alone time- reading, praying, writing music, cooking, thinking, exploring. Yes, that really does bring a smile to my face.
I will be counseling at Byron Bible Camp this next week, which I am starting to see is a blessing from God. Those kids will need just about every ounce of energy that I can muster up, which will help me to not focus so much on the matters at hand.
I should say this: while at times this is a really hard situation for Steffen and I, it really does make me step back and realize that I have it good. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, a generous family who is willing to take him in as one of their own, a mother who I can grow closer to over the summer, a God who is jealous for my love, and friends to catch up with while I'm here in Huron. The list is endless, but I really don't want to forget all those blessings in my life.
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