Complacent

I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the last month. Fact.

Not having enough income to pay all our bills and seemingly not making any headway was super stressful. At times that I thought I was holding everything together, I would find myself just bursting into tears, realizing that I was full of anxiety and stress. I'm the financial nerd of our relationship, and I often found myself wondering how on earth my other half could seem so calm about the situation at hand.

After searching and applying and interviewing, I am happy to say that I did find a great job that I'm happy with and can see myself there for years to come. I'm working as an administrative assistant at 1st Assembly of God here in Lafayette. Woot.

I spent most of the last two months praying and asking the Lord to provide a job, and soon. I'd ask Him over and over again- way more than I'd ever pray and talk with God on a normal basis. Of course, as always, He provided. And I certainly give praise to Him for that. But, it's at these times when life is looking up that I find myself starting to become complacent. I'm gunna be honest- since I got my job two weeks ago, I've only journaled twice...where as before I was journaling at least 4-5 times a week. (I feel that journaling is the main way for me to communicate with the Lord with a focused and sincere heart, realizing that it's not for everyone.) But Oh! How I am disappointed in myself for having this wishy-washy relationship with the Lord on my part.

Thankfully, I know the Lord is gracious, and still sees my heart that really does desire to serve Him. So I guess this is my prayer: to replace complacency with consistency. I need (but more than need, WANT) to have a consistent relationship with the Lord, not based on emotions, finances, physical health, or whatever.

So, here's to consistency!