Hobby

Growing up, I had lots of hobbies. First hobby was probably playing Barbies. That grew into playing house. This was especially fun once I had a baby. A real baby brother, that is. Every now and again I would play micro-machines with my older brother. Mom and dad gave me my very own craft room downstairs. The best. I would spend hours down there- and according to mom, I would sing to myself, making up the song as I go. I must have been cute. Then we moved. New things! New hobbies! New neighbors! Swing sets, horses, parks, 4-H, kittens, Sunday school. Then we moved again. New things! School, friends, horses, neighbors, sports, books, club houses, forts. Pretty soon the barbies were sold, and I started being super committed to a few hobbies: sports, singing, flute, horses. And Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Growing up I was taught not to be lazy. It actually was never an option. Video games were considered being lazy. Too much TV was being lazy. I guess that’s why I was considered an active child. I was always on the go go go- because just sitting around wasn’t an option.

I guess for the most part I’m glad that turned out to be an active child. I really did enjoy doing all that I did in high school and in my pre-teen years. BUT. There’s one thing. I’ve noticed that my mindset is/was twisted. Whenever I see someone with a hobby that’s not “active” I automatically think they are lazy. I guess it might not be that extreme, but something in my mind definitely triggers to look down on their hobby.

For instance, I know a guy that loves all forms of media entertainment: music, movies, video games. You name it. People like that definitely have this first-impression-negative affect on me. I guess the only reason (or excuse, rather) I have for thinking like this is because I was raised to stay away from making that stuff a hobby.

I think I’ve realized that it shouldn’t matter what people label as their hobby. Ok, I guess it should- but only within moral reason and all in moderation. Maybe your hobby is writing. Video games, tractors, reading, biking, concerts, sewing. I really shouldn’t discriminate like my mind wants to. I need to realize that it’s a good thing we aren’t all interested in the same thing. God gave each one of us different personalities and I shouldn’t be looking down on you if you really enjoy the Wii. Every. Single. Night.

"Christian" Music Ministry...

I just finished No Compromise by Melody Green, which is the biography of her husband, Keith Green. Even after reading the last page of that book, there’s so much spinning in my brain. For those of you who don’t know, Keith was a very talented musician who became very famous (in the Christian music scene) in his 20’s which was in the 1970’s.

This is straight from No Compromise:

Keith didn’t talk to anyone after his concerts because he was so upset by the hero-worship he saw in people’s eyes. Not wanting to encourage anyone in idolatry, or be stumbled himself, Keith simply slipped backstage. He was so concerned over this issue that a few years earlier he’d even written an article called “Music or Missions,” about churches full of “star-struck” Christians and what that did to the Lord and the ministers themselves:

Can’t you see that you are hurting these ministers? They try desperately to tell you that they don’t deserve to be praised, and because of this, you squeal with delight and praise them all the more.

How come no one idolizes or praises missionaries who give up everything and live in poverty, endangering their lives and their families lives with every danger that the American dream has almost completely eliminated? How come no one lifts up and exalts the ghetto and prison ministers and preachers? Because we are taught early on 1) that comfort is our goal and security and 2) that we should always seek for a lot of people to like us.

Quit trying to make gods out of music ministers, and quit trying to become like those gods. …

The only music ministers to whom the Lord will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant,” are the ones whose lives prove that their lyrics are saying and the ones to whom music is the least important part of their life. Glorifying the only worthy One should be most important!

Fitting in.

I’ve been thinking the past two days about who I am. Ha. kinda a weird sentence, but the truth. I’ve changed a lot in the last few years, but I’d never go back. Overall, I’ve changed for the good (well, in my opinion) but others may look at me and say I haven’t. They’d say I’m not the same person I was four years ago. Truth is, I’m not! And I’m so so thankful for that. God has brought people into my life that have helped me to see life with a new pair of looking glasses.

With that being said, there are times when I meet people that I wish I could be more like them. Not solely their personality, but it could also be their demeanor, their style, the spirit they have about them, the music they listen to, where they buy food, their thoughts on God, their choice of vocabulary… the list is endless.

We all have people that we admire. The problem with me is that I find my personality temporarily changing around different people. As harsh as this is, I guess that means I’m two faced at times. When I’m with certain friends, I may choose do talk different, dress different, and so forth. I might even try to sound intellectual just to fit in. Or maybe I would try to think of as many witty comments so people around me think I’m funny.

I think it’s a good think to have examples of people that you strive to be more like…but I don’t want to continually change these petty things just to fit in better. I wish I could just be satisfied by wearing what I like to wear instead of being worried about not being hip enough or something. I wish I could just get along with some friends without feeling like I should be as funny as possible just to fit in.

The only problem is me, and the only answer is me.

City Life

I have a pretty big desire to live life to the fullest. There are days where I feel like I could conquer the world, but there are a lot of days where I go to bed feeling I wasted my day. To me, living life to the fullest requires a lot of sacrifice…personal sacrifice. I’m not really looking to benefit myself….I really have this desire to just overwhelm people with love and optimism. I want to sacrifice my own desires and really try to focus on loving people with my whole heart. I want so many people to be able to experience the love I have from my family, my sweetheart, my undeniable friends, and of course- my God. I want people to also feel the happiness I have in little things… like going to the Farmer’s market, or walking over to a coffee shop over my lunch break to read or journal, lighting all the candles in my apartment, or to cuddle up on my couch after cleaning the whole apartment… just little things that may seem juvenile but really make me so happy. I know each person is unique…and with that means everyone has different likes and dislikes. I just want others to be able to see those little things that might just make your day.
Besides focusing on shining through to others, I really feel like I need to embrace life in the cities a little more. I hated it when I first moved here. I moved right downtown to NCU, and I was all of the sudden surrounded with noises all over at night, a horrible smog/stench at times, no stars, and just cramped in by skyscapers that wouldn’t allow me to experience a sunset every night.
As I’ve spent over 2 years here, I’ve started to see the city through different eyes. I see opportunity. Opportunity to explore diversity. Opportunity to eat more than just Taco John’s and McDonalds. Opportunity for my career. To find new friends. To experience a different church. To be independent. To make organic choices- both with food and travel. To be a shelter for travelers that come to the cities.
I never thought I’d say this, but I really do see beauty in this city. I don’t want to miss any opportunity that’s waiting for me to embrace- whether it’s in the city or with people.

Hobbies

Welp, School is starting up for everyone- but me. It’s kinda weird that for the first time in 16 years, I won’t be starting up school in the Fall. This will apparently be steffen’s busiest semester, based on what the previous students are telling him. I don’t expect to see him quite as often, which will be weird.

I’ve looked into taking on/finishing hobbies that I have always wanted to do: 1) learning how to be a handy seamstress 2) canning foods the proper way 3) cooking with more than just garlic and onions for flavor 4) baking as much as I can by hand 5) trying to find more ways to be thrifty 6) finishing/organizing my never-ending box of pictures 7) finish knitting some scarves 8) find more coffee shops 9) read more books by CS Lewis.

So I think I have a few things that can fill my time.

Human Death

Last night Steffen and I watched Avatar. Seriously, every time I watch that movie I get excited to experience eternity in Heaven. I’m sure a place like Pandora is nothing close to what God has created for us- but it sure would be cool if Pandora was real. I sure hope Heaven offers my own personal flying dragon.
As I crawled into bed last night with happy thoughts, they were suddenly darkened. I started to think about death and what kind of unknown experience that is. I wondered where I would be in life…and how it would happen. As I laid there in bed, the devil got a hold of my thoughts and I started freaking out about the unknown: Will I gracefully pass in my sleep? Car accident? Heart attack? Will I be freaking out? What will my last words to Steffen be like? Will he be at my side? Will I be in pain?
I rolled over and asked Steffen to pray for me- that God’s peace would overcome me and the devil would flee from my thoughts. I praise God that He did help me fall asleep peacefully last night, but this morning the subject matter is still on my mind. Here’s what brings me peace: God is waiting in eternity for me while I carry out my life here on earth. When that ends, I’ll be in Heaven for eternity. I can’t really fathom that…or imagine what it will be like being with Jesus Himself and all the other Christians that have gone before me. But I do believe in it. Why? Because God has shown Himself real in my life. I’ve seen Him working through my life- at work, with my finances, through loving Steffen, healing my body, blessing me with wise parents, and not to mention creation which I oh so adore.
I would be lying if I said I’m not scared of human death. But I’m not lying when I say that I believe in a wonderful everlasting life in Heaven with my Creator. I hope I don’t live my life being scared of the unknown regarding human death. Again, I just need to remember that I am blessed to look forward to eternity in Heaven with Jesus. It’s also a reminder to share this opportunity with other people while I am alive here on earth.

Oh to know...

Another day, another dollar.
I’d rather be home snuggling with Steve than sitting here in this cube drifting in and out of corporate America. But, then again, I’m thankful to have the money.

Last night we went out to Sebastian Joe’s with good friends Kim and Melissa. It was nice to see them and to have a “summer” hang out. Last night was just gorgeous! Tonight we’re going to hang out with Steffen’s friend Joe and his girlfriend. I hope to go to Canterbury Fields. I would just LOVE to see that place and all the horses. I can dream of being at Churchill Downs.

Last night my good friend Laura texted me….and she’s engaged!!! Seriously, it just makes my heart so happy to see other people fall in love. I could tell from the first time I saw John and Laura together that they would be married soon. It’s funny though…all the girls in my class thought Laura would be one of the last to be married. Ha!

My cousin-in-law posted this status the other day…”Oh to know and to be known…” I guess I never thought of it that way, but I really liked the concept. Steffen knows me more than any other person out there…and I consider that to be pretty sacred. It would be hard to trust multiple people with as much as I trust Steffen with. He knows the little things- like how I want the dishes put away or how to fold the towels. But more than those piddly things, he knows that I need his attention, he knows my goals, he knows how to correct me, and so much more… To be known is certainly a gift and I am thankful for that.

Blessings....

We’ve been married two years as of last Sunday. Crazy! My manager here at work asked me the other day if time has flown by. I had to stop and think about it- I decided that it has gone fast, but we’ve really done so much in the last 2 years. We’ve had some awesome vacations, met new friends, found jobs, new church, tackled school, and explored the city. Really I have no room to complain at all. God has blessed us over and over again and we are undeserving. He has been way more constant with us that we have been with Him. I’m not proud of that status, but am blessed to serve an unchanging God.

Speaking of blessings, we just witnessed another small miracle on Monday. Steffen lost the van keys at work. Not only the van keys, but our apartment keys and so forth. It was 9pm and most of the stores in the mall (where he works) were closed already, so he wasn’t able to search in stores that he had been in earlier that day. We only have one vehicle as well as only one set of keys to the van.
When he called me to let me know what was going on, I have to admit I handled it pretty well. Normally I would freak out when things like that happen…but God is helping me overcome that kind of response. I prayed right then and there with my Mom, Cher, and Frank that God would help me to remain calm and to be supportive of Steffen, and that he would find the keys. After searching for about an hour, he gave up and called a friend for a ride. He was on his way out the door, he passed a lady who had his keys in her hand!!!! Talk about miracle!
This reminds me of the passage in James that I read on Monday….James 1:2 “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” Hm, I wonder if that’s one of the reasons God helped me to have the attitude that I did towards this situation. All glory to God!

Yesterday I called in sick at work. I could have worked, but I really just need to rest up and get ahead of my immune system. I went to the doctor yesterday and he confirmed that I have a sinus infection and an ear infection in my right ear. It’s draining and I wish I could just be better!